We often think that decision-making comes down to deciding \u201cyes\u201d or deciding \u201cno.\u201d But actually, there\u2019s a third way: indecision. Deciding not to decide is still a decision\u2014and it can be the worst decision of all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We all have our indecisive moments. There can be good reasons for punting on a decision. We don\u2019t have enough information and we need to wait until we have more. Or we have too much information and we need to reason through it before we can decide the best course of action. Or there are too many voices in our ear and we need a moment for some of those to quiet down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But that\u2019s not what I\u2019m not talking about here. Today, I\u2019m talking about the habit<\/em> of indecisiveness, when our default decision is to make no decision. I\u2019m talking about missing out on our dreams because of the decisions we <\/em>could\u2014and should<\/em>\u2014be making, but aren\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sound familiar? <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m here to tell you that I have a Ph.D. in habitual indecision. If you look up \u201chabitual indecision,\u201d it has my face next to it. But when indecision is habitual, it\u2019s toxic. It paralyzes you. Limits your future. Keeps you from walking in your brilliance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This topic has been on my mind for awhile. Why do we sabotage ourselves this way? When I looked into the research, what I found were lists of reasons that were all from the head\u2014not from the heart. So here is my list of things that cause habitual indecisiveness: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe you have a high-profile, high-pressure, high-risk job and there\u2019s a lot at stake, but you still have to make those decisions boom-boom-boom fast. Or maybe you\u2019re the responsible one in the family or you\u2019re the friend everyone else looks to, and you\u2019re expected to step up to the plate over and over. Whether it\u2019s in your personal or your professional life, you are overwhelmed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s human nature to be afraid of certain decisions, especially ones we know will be disruptive. Getting what you want might mean more responsibility, more attention, and higher expectations. A decision that\u2019s right for you might upset other people. But indecision can be just as disruptive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So how do you break the habit of toxic indecision? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Step one is to audit your life.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Where does your time go? Are there relationships in your life that are holding you back instead of lifting you up? What\u2019s happening in your environment? And not just in that is-your-house-messy kind of way\u2014but are you in a space<\/em> that supports you? Are you connected to your purpose? Are you operating from your strengths, or have those fallen by the wayside? Have other people\u2019s priorities moved to the head of the line? <\/p>\n\n\n\n There are many places where our lives fall out of alignment with our purpose\u2014and when we\u2019re out of step with our purpose and our passion, indecisiveness happens. So pare back your busyness. Let\u2019s be honest: some of us are addicted to being busy all the time. It\u2019s not a badge of honor! Take a good, hard look at your calendar. If you\u2019re spreading yourself too thin\u2014committed your time and energy to too many things\u2014pare back to the commitments that are most important and that support your<\/em> goals. Practice the subtle art of saying, \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you know where your time is going (and have reclaimed some of it), make changes to the way you use it. Change your daily routine. Get up earlier so you have time to exercise, read those books you\u2019ve been meaning to, or meditate. If it\u2019s important to you, make the time for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cut back on decisions that lead to fatigue. If you\u2019re a doer, let someone else \u201cdo\u201d for awhile. This is something I\u2019m having to learn, too\u2014how to dial back and let my team members make decisions. Making all the decisions trains other people in your life to be indecisive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Step two is to tackle the fear. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s no way around it. When fear is driving our habitual indecisiveness, we have to approach it head on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Practice making small decisions<\/em>. Case in point: my refrigerator is habitually empty! This isn\u2019t even a secret anymore. When my sister-in-law visits, she jumps on InstaCart before she even steps on the plane and then tells me when the groceries will be delivered. I tell myself that I\u2019m too busy to order groceries, but then I jump on the scale every day and wonder why the numbers are going up and not down. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Small successes breed bigger successes, so practice on the small stuff. Get accustomed to success and you\u2019ll be ready when that higher level of success arrives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Break down scary decisions into smaller steps and then identify the step that matches the courage you have at the moment.<\/em> What are you comfortable doing today? Going online and gathering information? Making a phone call? It can be something as simple as communicating your intention to someone outside yourself. Creating a level of accountability with someone you trust can get you out of the starting block. Get in motion and you\u2019re more likely to stay in motion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Get clear on your goals and objectives.<\/em> Articulate your criteria for a good decision so you recognize it when you see it. Write them down. Make a list. Journal. Add a note on your phone. Put them somewhere you\u2019ll see them. And then act when the decision matches your goal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ask yourself the \u201cmiracle question.\u201d<\/em> Suppose tonight while you sleep, a miracle occurs and you get to fast-forward to a time when the decision has been made. When you wake tomorrow, how will you know that the miracle happened? What are the things that will tell you life has gotten better? <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve been punting on the need to clean up your diet and eat better, what does a kitchen filled with healthy food look like? What does your life after a career pivot look like? Are you hitting the gym after work because your hours are more manageable? Is your heart at peace because you ended a toxic relationship? When you envision the future, you can step into the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trust your ability to make good decisions.<\/em> Think about it. You probably make terrific decisions for other people all the time. Yes, decision-making is usually less painful when we\u2019re not the ones emotionally invested in the outcome. But if your gut is good enough to make decisions for everyone else, it\u2019s surely good enough for you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Give yourself grace.<\/em> You won\u2019t be an overnight success at this. I\u2019m not one yet! In a study released by the European Journal of Social Psychology<\/em>, a team of researchers investigated how long it takes to create a new habit. The answer they found? On average, it takes 66 days for a new habit to take hold. Exercise that decision-making muscle every day and it will<\/em> get stronger. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Humanitarian Robin Sharma says, \u201cPotential unexpressed turns to pain.\u201d Habitual, toxic indecisiveness leaves your potential unexpressed. It keeps you from the future you want. Indecision steals your life and kills your dreams. None of us wake up in the morning, planning to sabotage ourselves. But that\u2019s exactly what indecisiveness does. It sabotages our potential in big and small ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Too often, we wait for life to blow up in our face before we give ourselves permission to finally make a decision. That leaves us digging our way out of a hole we didn\u2019t need to be in. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Consider this to be your permission slip to go be great. Download my from-the-heart list of 8 things that trigger toxic indecisiveness and 6 ways to conquer it.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Let’s all break the patterns of indecisiveness that are holding us back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ——————————————————————————————————————–<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re ready to take charge of your career, there\u2019s no better time than right now. Join my g2Coach community today and gain clarity, confidence, and a game plan to transform your growth with coaches, resources, empowering content, and an amazing tribe of ambitious women eager to support one another. Get your first month\u2019s membership for just $1!<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We often think that decision-making comes down to deciding \u201cyes\u201d or deciding \u201cno.\u201d But actually, there\u2019s a third way: indecision. Deciding not to decide is still a decision\u2014and it can be the worst decision of all. We all have our indecisive moments. There can be good reasons for punting on a decision. We don\u2019t have… Continue reading Indecisiveness is a Toxic Kind of Decisiveness: How to Break the Pattern<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1522,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.g2coach.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1516"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.g2coach.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.g2coach.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.g2coach.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.g2coach.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1516"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.g2coach.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1516\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.g2coach.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1522"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.g2coach.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1516"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.g2coach.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1516"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.g2coach.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1516"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}